In this series of posts, I want to discuss with you the different ways of punishment. We will of course talk about flogging, whipping, and other forms of impact play – but I want to focus a little bit on non-impact, or even non-physical types of punishment. Effective behavior-improving punishment does not automatically have to be excruciatingly painful.
In fact, if you want a Femdom dynamic that extends outside the sex in the bedroom or shorter play session, you will want to broaden your range of punishments. As you will see, some of these punishments do not actually require a lot of time and effort from the Mistress. Mistresses are busy women and have better things to do than training a useless slave all day long.
Dostoyevsky’s epic “Crime and Punishment” has almost 600 pages (and was originally published in twelve monthly instalments during 1866) – a lot can be said on that topic, which is why I am dedicating a whole series of posts to it.
Purpose of punishment
The whole concept of punishing your submissive or slave might sound paradoxical. Why be with somebody and punish them?
First, you want to reinforce the boundaries you set for your relationship. You gave yourselves a hierarchy, in which each of you has a place. Therefore, you can except from your slave that he actively follows his role. He has to show obedience, and more generally a high level of mindfulness towards the needs of his Mistress.
Closely linked to this issue is the fact that no matter what, the wishes of the dominant, the Mistress, must always come before the wishes of the slave. The main trait you do not want in a slave is selfishness. Thus, punishments give two opportunities:
- For the Mistress, to communicate what she perceived a breach of boundaries.
- An immediate course of action to alter the slave’s behavior.
This leads me to my second point: punishment is or should be a way of training the slave. It is not a mindless act of violence, or of releasing anger, but a collaborative activity to strengthen the relationship.
When you and your partner decided on engaging in a female-led relationship, your slave agreed to primarily give. He committed to giving you his mind, his lifestyle, his routine. As a Mistress, you have the amazing opportunity of guiding or molding this person to your exact needs and wants. You are on a joint journey of making him the best version of himself. People are highly averse to change, especially when it comes to their most personal routines and behaviors. Depending on the person and the kind of necessary behavioral change, they need to be gently nudged, strongly incentivized, or taken on a short leash (metaphorically as well as literally) and forced. With all options presented, not changing one’s behavior must be the most costly one.
Before we get to the different ways of punishing, I want to address the question how pain and pleasure relate to each other when it comes to sexual punishments.
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